Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Update/ Some Star Wars Stuff

Hello There, GeekGirl Here,

So I know it's August and still no compare and contrast article between The Force and The Holy Spirit. Just wanted to let you know this is in process, but it is gonna take a while considering I had forgotten how painfully bad episodes 1-3 are and now I have to watch them.

Some observations on that regaurd:
1. Endless detailed animations and bad writing does not a good movie make.
2. Ewan McGregor can make even the worst dialogue good via excellent facial expressions. (Obi wan has been taught well).
3. Don't wear a backless dress and then tell a guy that how he's looking at you makes you uncomfortable.
4. I liked Yoda better when he was a Muppet. (Somebody make a T-shirt of that PLEASE!!)
5. Apparently you can forget that sandstorms are dangerous in the midst of saying they are.
6. Did Qui-Gon just do a Jedi equivalent of a Vulcan nerve pinch on Jar Jar? REALLY?!?
7. The chase through the city in Episode 2-after a female suspect-and through a pane of glass? Blade Runner anyone?
8. "You want to go home and re-think your life." And my recurring thought is if only Lucas had gone home and re-thought this dialogue. All of it.
9. Midiclorians because you know, we didn't want the Force to actually be Mystical or anything.
and finally
10. Jar Jar Binks, for the love of God, why?

Did I mention I have thus far only watched Episodes 1 and 2?


Let's just say that this re-affirms my policy for when I have kids someday. I am not going to tell them that Episodes 1-3 exist. I am not going to lie, I am just going to show them Episodes 4-6 when I show them Star Wars.

Which means someday I will get a phone call when they are over at somebody's house, all excited and hopeful, "Hey Mom? Did you know there's three MORE Star Wars movies? Can I watch them?"

My response, if they're old enough will be "Sure Honey, just don't expect them to be any good."

On a more positive note, I met a Junior Higher in the past week and I got to be wowed by his Star Wars knowledge, and to pass on to him the most important answer to the most important Star Wars question of all time:

Did Han Shoot First?

Now for you Non-Geeks out there you may not be familar with the HAN-SHOT-FIRST movement so here it is in a nutshell. In Episode 4 Star Wars: A New Hope, Han is about to go rev up the engines of the Millenium Falcon and beat it off of Tatooine, when this green bounty hunter Greebo stops him. In the exchange Greebo pretty clearly implies he's gonna kill Han, but Han shoots him first under the table-proving what a tough cool guy he is. In the newly enhanced versions of Episodes 4-6, Lucas added back in some footage that had been cut from the original theatrical version of the film. Some of this footage includes an extension of this scene where Greebo fires on Han first, misses hiting the wall, and then is shot by Han.

The reason this footage is so wrong is because thousands of young men grew up thinking, dare I say knowing, that Han Solo was the man, coolest of the cool and what they aspired to be (This is psychological phenomenon is evidenced in film by the main character looking in the reflection of a car in the movie 500 Days of Summer to behold a reflection of himself as Han Solo in a fantasy sequence). So what does any good Star Wars Fan, any self-respecting Geek do in the face of such footage.

Insist it is invalid.

How do we do that? We wear T-shirts that read: Han Shot First.

If you want in with any true Star Wars fan-this is the question you CANNOT get wrong and I have just given you the correct answer.

Finally, to tide you over, here's a fun take on the Star Wars films from Hank Green.

Also keep in mind I can vouch for the content of this video, it is appropriate and not at all gory despite the screen pic above. Keep in mind I haven't seen the rest of Hank's video blogs (over 200) and so I am only vouching for this one.

Until Next Time Dear Readers I Remain,

Geek Girl


  1. Dudette,,
    You are such a geek! A clever, intelligent and funny one. Love, Dad

  2. Ewan McGregor's powers of redemption extend far beyond these films IMHO, and that's probably my most cogent thought about Stars Wars! ;)

  3. I will agree in principle with #4. However, Yoda's Lightsaber duel with Count Dooku was one of the pleasant diversions that allowed me to stomach "Attack of the Clones". Having them try to pull that off with Yoda still as a muppet would have been "interesting".

  4. Come to think of it, I imagine trying to get Yoda to duel as a muppet would look something like this.

  5. Since you still haven't finished it, why don't you do something else, like Tron Legacy?