Thursday, July 22, 2010

Some Qualifications

Hello there, Geek Girl here,

So while I am working on my next blog-which is a several part series comparing and contrasting the Holy Spirit of Christendom to the Force of Star Wars, I have run one delay. You see I plan to work only from primary sources-the movies and the bible but unfortunately when my illustrious Dad transferred Star Wars Episode 4 from Laserdisc to DVD only the first half of the movie made it.

In the meantime I thought I would entertain you with a few qualifications for how I identify myself, as a Geek, Nerd, Dork, and a Christian. I will be prefacing each of these lists with my definition of what these terms are so that you can better understand my qualifications.


Geek (n)

1. a person with specialized (obsessive) knowledge in a specific category that is not necessarily academic. 2. a person with technical knowledge of computers or other electronic devices (I.E. the IT).

1. I own the ring of power, a sword of Rohan, an ironman mask, evil scientist welding goggles, a tri-corder, and a sonic screwdriver complete with physic paper for, you know, varying circumstances.

2. I embroidered an Elvish shirt for the premier of The Two Towers (which initiated a first conversation with a now best friend).

3. I have made Rodney from Stargate Atlantis, a mythical Jackalope, a robot, and the eleventh doctor from Doctor Who out of felt (see pictures).

4. I own 87 Marvel/DC comic books I handpicked from an estate sale (including Stan Lee's unauthorized biography).

5. The first Halloween I could choose what I wanted to be I was SPIDERMAN.

6. In 2005, I dressed up and won "Best Human" at the Vacaville Middle Earth Festival (let me tell you after feeling sub-human all through high school this was quite a validation and honor).

7. My i-pod is named TARDIS and my black laptop is named SKARO.

8. At Comic Con in 2003 I ran up to the stage and slipped Sean Astin a floppy disk (remember those?!) containing ideas for Goonies 2 should it ever be made.

9. I have made a Harold Crick mug from memory and a Stargate plate (see pictures).

10. On Sept 22nd, 2002 I attended a Bilbo Baggins Birthday celebration at a Marin County park near San Francisco.

11. My T-shirts collection consists of: 1 Star Trek Shirt, 1 Ninja Shirt, 1 Ninja Turtles Shirt (Turtley Awesome!), 1 Nintendo Shirt (Classically Trained), 2 Star Wars Shirts, 2 Lord of the Rings Shirts, 3 Zelda Shirts, 4 DC Superheroes shirts, and 4 Marvel Superheroes shirts.

12. One Halloween when I was going to Junior College I dressed up as Lola from the movie Lola Rent, put all my heavy textbooks in a black plastic bag, and sprinted to every class as if my boyfriend's life depended on it.

13. I own atomic socks, Ironman socks, Yoda socks, and hobbit socks (they are like the Tolkien inspired snuggie of the feet-see picture).

14. For a Shakespeare class final I co-wrote, directed, and acted in a student Film that basically was Star Wars meets Shakespeare including such speeches as "Once More to the Trench" "Alas poor Biggs," and the ever-popular Yoda monologue "To Be or Be Not, that is the Question, ehn?"

15. In 2003 I was made an official Goonie by Sean Astin (knighthood for geeks).

16. In 2004 I was handpicked out of the crowd at Comic Con to meet David Wenham and Billy Boyd of The Lord of the Rings movies to ask them a question for a website. My question: "With the books, and what the director wants, and what you want, how do you find your character's center?"

17. My Reboot, Stargate Atlantis, Superhero, Doctor Who, Narnian, Star Trek, and LOTR (including talking Treebeard) action figures all live and play together.

18. My cat is named for a Television character (you'll have to guess which one).

19. The decals on the back of my car are the Tardis, the White Tree of Gondor, and the Tri-Force! (see picture and thanks to Robot1001001).

20. In 2008 my sister and I threw a Sci-Fi Birthday party whose guests included Rose Tyler(myself), Be'llanna Torres, Marty McFly and Doc Brown, A Fan from Galaxy Quest, Tod the Wraith, Dr. Hodge, Sarah Jane Smith, two aliens whose names I can't type in this font, Vala, Col. Carter, Dr. Daniel Jackson, and K-9.

21. I went to see The Fellowship of the Ring seven times. After that there was no stopping me from seeing movies multiple times in the Theatres.

22. I have more flare than you would believe. I am not even going to try to count it (see picture-now imagine 5 times what is shown and 20% is from DAMEcreations).


Nerd (n)

1. a person who is socially removed or isolated from others .

2. a person with academic knowledge in a specific content area: e.g. Literature, Science, Mathematics.

    1. I had trouble making friends with people my own age from kindergarten through high school.

    2. In 5th grade I completely withdrew, stopped talking or socially interacting at all during recess, instead opting to read The Little House on the Prairie series over and     over and over.

    3. I still experience social awkwardness attacks all the time at the age of 28.

    4. In high school I identified myself as "a loner" throughout freshman year and when I finally joined social groups they were the band kids and a circle proudly     known as "the poetry rejects."

    5. I have written short stories and poems since I was five and have been honored at a young author's fair and published four years in a row in my University's literary magazine, three times under my own name, once co-authoring, and once under a pseudonym (to make sure they liked my work and not me).

    6. I have a Bachelors in English with a Associates Degree in Behavioral and Social Sciences.

    7. My senior seminar was Transformation Myth and my "big paper" was on the transformational and complimentary power of masculinity and femininity in George Macdonald's fairy tale The Day Boy and the Night Girl (also published under the title The History of Photogen and Nycteris).

    8. I have read way too much to be listed.

    9. I am a high school English teacher-which means much of the following:

  • I am in love with reading and believe it can show us the world and ourselves and can gradually cure selfishness and stupidity.
  • I am in love with adjectives, verbs, adverbs, nouns, some prepositions, semicolons, assonance, alliteration, and essay structure.
  • I believe that writing can bring self-discipline, clarity, self-realization, and truth into the world.

    10. I have books signed by Gary Soto, Jan Brett, Eric Carle, and Rosemary Wells, as well as 1 first edition Brave New World by Aldous Huxley.

    11. I have more books than I should too many to count and too many for my shelves so they are stacked and on my desk, and in my trunk.

    12. I have made and wear T-shirts that read: Wesley Never Dies, The Enemy's Gate is Down, Read Books, and Halflings Rule.

    13. I am a walking talking dictionary of characters, plot lines, literary allusions, and imaginary geography.

    14. I sometimes compose haikus for all my pictures in a photo album on facebook (okay I only did that once, but I'm resolved to do it again!)


Dork (n)

1. a person with few social inhibitions

2. a person who is obviously farcical in their behavior

3. a person who lacks physical coordination

    1. Growing up my most frequent question to my sister was "can I hum it?"

    2. I tell the worst most puny, play-on-word jokes I can.

    3. I grin wildly, chuckle darkly, and compose spontaneous songs about life on a daily basis (ex: We are walking on the beach, but Tatooine's sands are out of reach).

    4. When walking, I frequently run into objects or people that are stationary.

    5. I can't clap on beat unless I really really concentrate.

    6. When I dance one of two things happen:

        A) pre-mature rigamortis sets in

        B) my arms and legs flail indistinctly in varying directions much like a 80's pop star having a seizure with no correlation to the music whatsoever

    7. I have never and never will be good at sports (except for Wii sports and even then really just the hola hoop game).


Christian: (n)

  1. a person who professes a belief in the teachings of Jesus Chirst

    Okay so here's one of the really astoundingly cool things about being a Christian, unlike being a Geek, Nerd, or Dork, none of my actions throughout my lifetime qualify me to be a Christian. I could tell you that I've been baptized, and I go to church, and read the bible, but these things don't make me a Christian anymore than hanging out in a garage makes me a car, or chillin' at used bookstores makes me a librarian ( I wish!). There is only one qualification contributed by me that makes me a Christian, and that is my ongoing belief in Jesus Christ as my savior. That's my qualification.

    Yet I couldn't even have that qualification if Christ had not first qualified me for a relationship with Him by dying for my sins on the cross. Just this last week I was talking to a non-Christian who said very humbly and honestly "I don't think I'm cut out to be a Christian," and my sister wisely and graciously pointed out- "Well, none of us are." We are not qualified to follow God by any of our actions, no matter how good or amazing or blessing to others these actions are, because we are separated from God by our sin. But we are all equally qualified, regardless of our past and current lives, to receive God 's grace. Grace goes beyond mercy because not only are you spared from the punishment or consequences you deserve, but you are also blessed by the one who has every right to judge you for your wrong.

    Here's a more concrete example. Imagine that your friend has a very rare golden-age comic book given to them by their grandfather that they absolutely love. I mean he reads it all the time, it is freaking precious him, he has all these memories of his grandpa associated with it and so on. Now you are frankly jealous of this comic. More than that, you really desire it for your own. Moreover maybe you'd like to see your friend who is very proud of it taken down a few notches; I mean he's just so annoying about it whenever it's mentioned, which is way more than any human being should mention anything.

    So one day you see that comic lying on your friend's dresser and you slip it into your backpack. You are stealing it, but you justify this to yourself by promising to return it once your friend has freaked out a bit, just to make a point. Or maybe you'll keep it just to make a point; I mean you could go either way. When you get home you go to take out the comic and you notice that your water bottle has leaked all over your backpack. Everything is soaked through, including the top half of your friend's comic, because the plastic wrapper was partially open and so water got in. You use a blow dryer, and you meticulously dry each page-but the ink is still completely wasted. You even look for the same comic online in the hopes that maybe you could make a switch, or at least offer this to your friend as a way of taking responsibility for your actions, but this particular golden age comic is so far out of your price range you know you can never afford it. Even if you could you realize it's not going to be the same because this comic, the one you ruined with your theft, was from his beloved and deceased Grandpa.

    So you go to your friend, present the comic, confess everything, offer to try to earn money your entire life to try to afford a replacement comic (which your friend and you both know you can never do) and wait for the axe to fall. The real consequences of your actions are that you deserve to lose your friend-you aren't qualified to remain friends with him after what you have done.

    If your friend forgives you of the destruction of the comic, that would be giving you mercy. But instead your friend not only forgives you, but he goes online and buys the same golden age comic you were looking at as a replacement and gives it to you to show you that he and you are still friends and always will be. Also your friend is not a millionaire either-he's working class like you and will most likely be paying for that comic the rest of his life but he does it anyway because he loves you. In addition to that, your friend says that you should start going to comic books stores together, and you do, and your friend continually buys you comics for no other reason than he loves you and wants you to enjoy them.

    That's what God's grace is-He loves us so much that even though we are sinners which qualified us for death and separation from Him during our time on earth and after death, He died in our place-paying the price for our sins so that we could continue to have a relationship with Him. And because He loves us, He continues to bless us whether we are good or evil (Mathew 5:45) just because His love for us is that encompassing and awesome.

    So what is my qualification for being a Christian- it's His grace and nothing I do.

"For by grace you have been saved through faith,

and that not of yourselves,

it is the gift of God,

not of works lest anyone should boast."

Ephesians 2:8-9

    And that is my favorite qualification of all time.


NEXT TIME: The Spirit vs. The Force or "Yep, we're talkin' midi-clorians people."


  1. This is awesome, it's like an a great burst of creative thought.

  2. Wow, that was great! Where in the world did you get Hobbit socks??!!

  3. My best friend Becca made them for me. They are flesh colored socks with thick brown yarn sown on top with the stiches loose to look like hair and they're done. Make your own today!

  4. I'd be interested in seeing a Venn diagram for possible interactions between Dork #1 and Nerd #1. =)

  5. Yeah I can see how that might be entertaining. However human nature is often to starange in it's dicotomy to attempt to chart. Geek social norms-even more so.